Join me, mostly me, and a few others at a conference unlike any before and hopefully any after.
Me, myself and I am teaming with whoever will have me with all my failures this past year, to bring together the most closed door shelter directors and the misguided top animal lawyers to teach you how you too can "get those numbers".
Learn from closed door shelter directors how to "crate them and stack them" and how to teach employees to ignore diseases. Being able to manipulate those numbers is a must on your experience. Sure fire way to make sure the "died in kennel" figure rises and therefore is not counted against your "euthanasia" numbers. Learn the basics of shoe selling so you can put together programs such as BOGO, buy one get one free. Don't forget the seniors for seniors program where you put the least adoptable older and sick animals with people who are suckers for a sob story and the least equipped to handle the medical, but that's their problem when they adopt. And don't forget the seminar on how to blame everyone else for problems will help you to deceive those who count, don't waste time on the public, they aren't the problem and I will teach you how to explain the increases in "public surrenders".
Learn how to get the breeding community to support you against the very things that can only help such as mandatory spay/neuter. Learn how to force landowners to rent to irresponsible pet owners. Lead the fight to stop pet limits so everyone has to tolerate hoarding.
Learn tactics such as making of pipe bombs from the activists fighting to provide consulting opportunities on "No Kill". And in addition, a free seminar on speaking the language of "No Kill" so as to evade questions or place focus on other areas not in question.
This is a must attend event from pipe welding activists, hoarders posing as rescuers, closed door shelter directors and staff, lawyers with an interest in money, and anyone else who wants to get a piece of the action.
Speakers and workshops are all conducted by myself, yours truly. RSVP at Imsofullofit.bull.net
This is a satire, a very sad satire.