Saturday, February 11, 2012

ODE TO PIT BULLS AND THEIR OWNERS

I realized I haven't posted about pit bulls in quite awhile so here's a little something.

In the mind of *Elaine,
A pit nutter insane,
The gears of her brain
Will persist to deny
All the possible realms
In which one could cast blame,
Of the reasons a pit bull could be driven to maim.

Someone fell in the street, 
Or was walking a dog, 
Or they had smelly feet,
Or was taking a jog…

Maybe that kid was chewing gum,
Or stuck out his tongue,
Or was playing a drum,
Or just acting too glum.

Or maybe they sneezed, 
Had an infectious disease,
Or was eating a bowl
Of Kraft Mac and cheese.

There’s bicycles, wheel chairs, strollers, and trampolines, 
Or the mere act of sitting on a porch with a magazine, 
Or being a mail carrier, or sharing Easter Candy, 
* Here’s a long list of others, please do keep it handy!

When all else fails, to whom should get the finger 
Pointed at them at blame, now sit down, it’s a ringer!
It is usually the victim, on their course doing errands, 
Or pursing those everyday mundane or fun gerunds.
Nay, it’s never the pit bull, and it’s rarely the owners, 
And the apologist will have rebuttals that are all quite the groaners. 

”THAT wasn’t a PIT BULL, they’re so SWEET and so TAME
Clearly, it’s NOT a pit bull, CAN’T you TELL by its FRAME?
And besides, there’s no such thing by this name,
The American Pit bull, the dog you choose to defame,
It is not a pit bull, no it’s not quite the same. 
Therefore your argument is really quite lame.”

These are sweet harmless Nanny Dogs, dogs of great acclaim,
The media’s biased, and they are to blame,
For mass hysteria, YES that is their aim,
For ratings, and money, it’s a horrible shame,
And the dogs are blamed falsely,” so says the granddame. 

We can persist to deny, despite what numbers claim,
Let’s flush Science and rational thought down the drain!
We can go on for days,
Examining ways,
And we’ll persist to deny,
It twarn’t D.N.A.! 

* A respected elder of the Pit Bull Tribe of Facebook

4 comments:

Meals on Wheels said...

P is for PITBULL, public nuisance number one,
I is for IDIOT owners who must think carnage is fun,
T is for their inbred power grip and TENACITY
B is for the BLOOD that is shed too frequently
U is for the UNDERLYING DNA
L is for the hope of preventative LAWS to be passed someday.
L is for a vulgar LYING pit bull advocacy
S is for We must SOMEHOW STOP all this insanity!

HonestyHelps said...

APPLAUSE, APPLAUSE, APPLAUSE, BRAVO, BRAVO, ENCORE, ENCORE

Anonymous said...

Looks like the truth is finally coming out: the breeders don't care about the welfare of dogs. Link:

www.huffingtonpost.com/kathy-guillermo/westminster-pedigree-controversy_b_1274852.html

Key point from the article:

[T]heir message is "Buy, buy, buy." Buy from pet shops, buy from breeders, buy from puppy mills. We don't care where you buy your dog (because the American Kennel Club will issue "papers" to any breeder, sight unseen, no matter how large or small) -- just buy. But whatever you do, do not under any circumstances adopt one of those needy dogs from a shelter. What kind of sick and twisted killjoy are you?

HonestyHelps said...

I haven't bothered to look but has the Whino said anything about this?